Minuteman weirdness
Posted on April 21, 2004
Filed Under /dev/null/ | 157 views |
It never occurred to me to wonder about the residual environmental effects of nuclear weapons, what with their primary purpose being to destroy said environment anyway, but it appears someone worries about these things: EPA Approved ICBMs:
In order to comply with EPA (Environmental Protection Agency) regulations, and at a cost of about $5.2 million per ICBM, the rocket motors on 500 Minuteman III missiles will be replaced with new ones. These rockets will emit less toxic chemicals when used.
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Thus, if the Minuteman III ICBMs have to be used in some future nuclear war, their rocket motors will not pollute the atmosphere. EPA regulations do not apply in foreign countries, so no changes are being made to reduce the harmful environmental effects of the nuclear warheads.
In related news, they’re disarming through unification:
Finally, to comply with disarmament agreements, the Minuteman third stage, that contains three 440 pound nuclear weapons, will be replaced with a warhead containing one 600 pound nuclear weapon.
(I’m still entertaining the idea that this article is a joke.)