Crazy as a shithouse rat

Posted on January 31, 2004
Filed Under /dev/null/ | 45 views |

Uncle Patrick: where the hell were you when I needed you during frosh week in second year?

Socks should match your pants, and your belt should match your shoes. After that, if anyone complains, tell ‘em they should be happy you’re wearing any clothes at all.
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If, while chugging a beer, the phrase, “I bet this is going to be the last coherent thought I have tonight,” runs through your head, get someone to take you home. Now.
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You can use Krazy Glue in lieu of surgical stitches. For when you’re, you know, too poor to go to the emergency room. Or trying to avoid explaining things to the police.
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Dungeons and Dragons never goes away. Girls will still sense that shit 20 years later.

- DIARY OF INDIGNITIES SPECIAL EDITION: Uncle Patrick’s Advice to Children

Comments

One Response to “Crazy as a shithouse rat”

  1. patrick hughes on February 3rd, 2004 6:22 am

    i was probably nursing a hangover, or getting beat up by skinheads. or breaking stuff.

    sorry.

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