An American discovers Canada
Posted on August 16, 2003
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Samantha Bennett of the Pittburgh Post-Gazette discovers Canada:
The Canadians are so quiet that you may have forgotten they’re up there, but they’ve been busy doing some surprising things. It’s like discovering that the mice you are dimly aware of in your attic have been building an espresso machine.
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Now, here’s the part that I, as an American, can’t understand. These poor benighted pinkos are doing everything wrong. They have a drug problem: Marijuana offenses have doubled since 1991. And Canada has strict gun control laws, which means that the criminals must all be heavily armed, the law-abiding civilians helpless and the government on the verge of a massive confiscation campaign. (The laws have been in place since the ’70s, but I’m sure the government will get around to the confiscation eventually.) They don’t even have a death penalty!
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Like teenagers, we fiercely idolize individual freedom but really demand that everyone be the same. But the Canadians seem more adult — more secure. They aren’t afraid of foreigners. They aren’t afraid of homosexuality. Most of all, they’re not afraid of each other.
Canada isn’t perfect by any means, but that’s all true, more or less. Given all the places to live in the world, this one ain’t too bad.
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